Portland, Oregon

I had a vivid dream that was a disturbing cross between high school graduation/awards night and getting laid off from my job. There were many rows of folding chairs and a podium and it was in what looked like my high school cafeteria—white tile—and next to me was Kelly (from high school). I would say things like, “Aren’t we getting diplomas?” and she would reply, “They don’t do that anymore.”
“Aren’t we getting awards?” I asked.
“They don’t do that anymore,” she said.
What an anti-climax—I felt disappointed. After the ceremony was over, we as a big group of people were walking away, and I was walking away with Karen (one of the proofers at work), and we were talking about my losing my job, and I had that sense of insecurity and uncertainly and fear that I get when I think about my unemployment and how much trouble I could have getting another job.

Later, I showed up at the Art Museum (walked there from the NW Hostel downtown) and mentioned the fact that I was laid off and will move to Portland in July and probably get a job before becoming a museum member. The young woman behind the desk said that she just talked with someone about what it would be like to be laid off, and the response was that it’s “like graduating from high school. You’ve been there a long time and you’re glad to be free, but simultaneously there’s the worry and uncertainty about being unemployed.” Uncanny! I said, “It’s funny you say that,” and summarized the dream by saying, “I had a dream just last night that combined high school graduation with my job layoff.”

The museum, incidentally, is a beautiful place with a lot of contemporary art and a lot of Chinese sculpture--the kind that has been excavated from tombs--but I saw horses and camels much larger than any I've seen at other museums. A horse pulling a cart looked about lifesize. I've switched hostels in Portland because the Hawthorne Hostel only lets people stay for a week...unless they're interns who are working there. Hey, that's not a bad idea.

I'm currently waiting to hear back from my prospective landlady to find out if my application passes muster. If it doesn't, I might drive a moving van to a storage space, drop off my stuff there, and live in a hostel until I have an apartment. After I had already applied for this one, I did come across another apartment building while I was taking a walk--it had a big "for rent" sign and a phone number, and I wrote down the phone number. It was even in my favorite neighborhood, SE Portland, and not far from the first hostel. I really made myself at home there--it's a Victorian house painted in bright colors, and the people were very friendly and from many different places and there was a lot of blaah, blaah, blaah.

The downtown hostel where I'm dwelling now is much larger and not as friendly, but there's free bread and pizza and it's a fascinating old building with tall ceilings and bathtubs that have feet. The NW is also impressive--it's much bigger and more like a dorm than a house, and people haven't been chatty. But every hostel is different. I've been making use of the long tables to sit and read and eat. The Hawthorne had free bagels, donated from Noah's bakery, and there was a wonderful potluck Sunday brunch (the tofu scramble was especially good, and although I didn't cook anything, I did help with the dishes).

After I got the parking permit from the front desk to hang on my rear view mirror, I moved my car. That was yesterday morning, and I haven't moved it since! Lots of walking. I have stopped by at my car, like for granola bars and an umbrella. Portland people don't bother with umbrellas and tend to smile at you when they see you using one. Anyway, the guy at the front desk was very helpful and gave me a good map of downtown that I've been using ever since--it got me to China Town (I had bad vibes there and a crazy guy yelled across the street--the neighborhood is nothing like the one in San Francisco!) and the Chinese Garden (a very beautiful and serene place, and I was nearly locked inside.

I took some photos in the Chinese Garden.

I'm currently registered to be at the NW hostel till May 30, and I'm waiting to hear back from my prospective landlady, whether or not my application is accepted. Suspense. After I find out, I'll go back to the apartment office to sign paperwork and make a deposit to hold the apartment. Apartment hunting is stressful. Anyway, I'm hoping that will be settled by May 30, so that I can be on the move again in a timely fashion.